Chapter One Plus Incorporated Suggestions

Posted On Jul 2 2013 by


What was that smell?—dank, musty, mildewy. As consciousness returned , she realized she was no longer sleeping. Sleeping? she thought, as a rising dread began to grip her. No, not sleeping…unconscious. She could feel her lids opening and closing, and groggy as her mind was, she knew no amount of blinking could clear up the darkness that was totally absolute as it surrounded her. As her mind grasped for her most recent memories, trying to piece together any errant image that would produce a relevant thought. She tried to fight the rising panic. It was too late, the levy had broken.

The floor was hard, without the padded feel of carpet. She could feel the cold of stone. It gave her goosebumps on her legs, even through her jeans. Whatever she leaned against was equally hard. In a panic, she turned her head and felt the roughness of cinder block grind against her smooth, right cheek. She was also aware that she was bound, hand and feet, as well as gagged. Almost anyone could easily identify the bonds as duct tape. It took her a moment to notice but the grunting noise she was hearing, was actually coming from her own throat. Half moan half grunt. “HRRRH!!!” She would have called out, screamed even, if she had been able. She knew it would be useless with the swatch of tape over her mouth. Suddenly a flash from her adolescence appeared in her mind’s eye; her little brother was challenging her that he could get the tape off his mouth she was threatening to use to shut him up by working his jaw muscles. That had been almost 20 years before when they were kids, her a new teenager, and him, an annoying nine-year old pest. She felt a solitary tear slip out of the corner of her eye as Noah’s face danced before her, no longer the child who had been the bane of her existence, but the young man who had recently graduated from Berkley.

Noah, take care of Mom, her heart silently commanded. Then she prayed for herself. Heavenly Father, I know I have not lived the most pious life these last few years, but I swear to do better if You will only help me get out of here!

But where was here? She turned her head from left to right, and could not even make out shadows in the pitch of her surroundings. It was chilly, but that wasn’t unusually for anywhere is Colorado. Was she still in Denver, or one of the many “mini” cities that encompassed the state capital? She had no way to determine. She moved her jaws back and forth, up and down.

She probably wasn’t in Denver anymore, she reasoned. Although she wasn’t nationally famous, she was a well-known personality in the city. Of course, as the most popular disc jockey in town, at least according to The Denver Post, it was her voice more than her face that people knew. At least those who hadn’t seen her famous finger-guns blazing, larger-than-life image on the mass transit signs or billboards on the interstate that advertised her show, which ran during one of the two “prime times” in radio, the morning commute and the afternoon/evening commute. Hers was the latter. She could hear herself broadcasting as she worked her jaw—up, wide, down, up, wide, down.

“Gooood afternoon, folks. So how’s the traffic out there? Sucks as always, I’m sure. We’ll get an update from Dora Sims on that, as well as hear from meteorologist Ted Summers of KUSA in just a few minutes. You’re here with Superstar, that’s Starr Jennings to those of you just tuning in to KSTR, Denver’s Number One rock connection. Later on this week, we will have two member of the band IED in our studios, lead singer Zach Rohnan and bass master Jason Maldonado, where you, the listener, will get the opportunity to call in and ask them about their music, their madness, and ooh, maybe even there mistresses. You’ll also get the chance to have your name entered in the drawing for a night on the town with IED, including front row seats to their sold-out show, the jam session before and backstage passes. After the break, we’ll return with the debut of their newest single, Darkness Falls, kicking off thirty minutes of non-stop rock…” Ah, Zach. If only you had been there to rescue me this time…

She was almost positive who’d taken her, although she didn’t know his name, at least she didn’t think it was his real name, the creepy caller-turned-stalker, who identified himself as Howard Johnson. When he’d first called into her radio show, she thought his name was a joke, since many of the guys who called in had some sort of sex pitch for her. She remember how she’d teased him over the air about trying to get her to his “place,” i.e. a hotel room. And that’s how it all started.

Giving herself a mental shake, she tried to clear her mind and listen to the void around her, intent on detecting her captor’s return. Up, down, wide…up, down, wide. If she could just get the tape off her mouth, she would be able to use her teeth to free her hands. She heard only mostly silence, which seemed more ominous then if she heard movement. She prayed there weren’t any further or multi-legged creatures creeping around close by. She detested bugs but most especially hated mice and rats. The thought sent an irrational panic through her , breaking her concentration.

Stop it! she told herself furiously. Focus!

Another image came to her mind, this time making her heart break just a little bit more. This one was of a man, with messy auburn, shoulder-length hair, a small tattoo of a scimitar at the corner of his left cheekbone just under one of his brilliant green eyes. He was reacting to a band mate’s antics, his perfect teeth exposed as he threw his head back in unabashed laughter. That was the first time she’d met him, at the station, when he and Jason came in for the on-air interview. My God, was that really almost a year ago? she thought?

Unable to contemplate the fate that might await her, she let her mind wander back over the previous ten months… Back to that first phone call and back to the interview that would change her whole life.



Now, my friends, where shall we pick up in Chapter 2? The first meeting with the hunky rockstar? Maybe sooner? How about background on her contemporaries and peers? Do you, the reader, care? How realistic do we want this work of fiction. You have until the weekend to submit your thoughts. Holiday or not, I will have Chapter 2 posted by Sunday.


TTFN, kg



Last Updated on: July 2nd, 2013 at 10:26 pm, by davy

Written by support

3 responses to “Chapter One Plus Incorporated Suggestions

  1. Not bad.

    I think it would be more interesting if she was the rockstar guy. That’s a pretty good twist right? Kind of like a fight clubish dual personality theme. Also you should make the bugs represent something like one of the protagonists fears. Not just bugs. Bugs are scarier when they come in waves, you could use that to describe a rush of fear. PS: Not all fears have to be from childhood. It could be PTSD from something that happened the day before. I see quite a few early childhood flashbacks in writing these days. I would like to see flashbacks and memories that relate more to the main plot of the story. Not something like “I was at the stop n’ go and I saw the popsicles in the freezer, I was instantly transported back to “…nobody cares land. See what I mean?

  2. ah but this isn’t a flashback to a childhood fear. and nobody REALLY likes bugs do they. except maybe Grisham on CSI. what are they called. antomologists or something like that? it’s kind of hard to write a story this way, simply because I HAVE the story inside my head already, at least the bare bones of it. I never do outlines, I just think of a plot line and then the characters i want to place in that plot. by giving other readers/writers a chance to have an input in this book means some of my ideas might have to be forsaken and that’s a hard thing for an author to accept. keep reading, davy. i like your creativity and i think you’ll like mine!!

    TTFN, kg

  3. oh and i did think about making her a rockstar, but i think somewhere down the line i WILL do a story about a female rock band, just with a different plot, like discovering a cache of old songs by some unknown artist who was never published so they stole the music, but someone knows and the blackmail begins. or something like that…

    TTFN, kg

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